Thursday, June 2, 2016

Being perfect, not anymore……

Many asked me why the sabbatical from work and family in India? I replied: “Taki Apne hone par mujhko yaqeen aa jaye. (A dialogue from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)”

To tell a little about myself-I am a 30-year-old super active, hyper female who had a busy work schedule, brimming personal life with in-laws and a 4-year-old kid always around. Friends and colleagues who I looked forward to every Saturday night; a movie outing every Sunday night; a visit to any Hilly state every 3 months- with so much energy, so much chaos going around I was still not peaceful. My heart was always impounding asking for more and more. Ambitions turned into a bitch urging me to push harder for an art called perfection, hunted by society always.

Being a woman I have to be a perfect example of daughter, wife, daughter-in-law (DIL), mother and businesswoman. Perfect? I would better call her a juggler, always balancing the act of life.

And, here I would not like to bring in the curious case of males as subject for they too manage every nitty-gritty detail in their lives. My concentration is more on perfection- a concept which has made people obsessed with their work, families, bodies, even their smile. Today, no selfie can pass the beauty standards without that perfect pout….cummon why is everybody missing that natural smile- perfect or not!

Have we forgotten that beauty lies in the eyes of beholder and that judgment differs from man to man? Why to run after the ecstatic ‘perfection’, which actually does not exist in the real world. Nobody is perfect yet we strive for it, create limitations to get the perfect result. Life in itself is not perfect, little imperfections solicitate beauty today.

Why run after mediums that falsely promise to make your life angelic. Where sadness is acceptable not poverty; where pictures are important than making memories. Where social media timelines decide who is running a perfect life. We have forgotten to breathe in order to create that perfect home, perfect car, perfect partner and so much more.

We are not happy despite our well-paying jobs and happening social lives. Our comforting worlds are miserable and short-lived. We miss the moral our parents taught-to stay content but we march with full zeal towards the perfect lives which is just another mirage. We are simply worried and anxious to death.

How beautiful life would become if for once we forget that pending assignment, not make mental notes of home savings or groceries list, forget about showoff and concentrate on spending time with family. Just exist in the moment completely. For once we stop controlling our lives instead let life guide us to new paths and journeys where we explore more about ourselves not for perfection but with imperfection.


After all: Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho, Toh zinda ho tum!

Isn't it?

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

हिन्दी तुम मेरी साथी हो !

सुबह की सुर्ख लाली और शाम का चमकता सितारा
खुशियों का मौसम और बागों का महकता ठिकाना
दोस्त की वो मीठी बात और हँसते हुए वो कॉलेज ना जाने का बहाना
कभी किसी पे हसना कभी ख़ुद मजाक का हिस्सा बनना
वो होठों की हँसी और शोर शराबे में क्लास में न पढ़ना
मौजों की लहर मतवाली
चाय की दुकान पर वो मीठी प्याली
कभी गलती पर डांट पड़ना कभी मुस्कुरा के सारी बातें अनसुना करना
सत्र ख़तम होते होते वो भविष्य के इरादे
वो साथ रहने के वायदे
वो हम-तुम करने की शरारत हर बात पे खीजना हर बात पे झल्लाना
पर फिर मुस्कुरा के दोस्ती की कसमें खाना
हर कसम पे नसीहत हर नसीहत पे गुस्सा
हर गुस्से पे मुस्कराहट हर मुस्कराहट का किस्सा
वो सारा आलम
आज भी मेरी यादों का हिस्सा
हर खुशी आपस में बांटना हर दुःख में किसी का साथी होना
हर पल को खुशियों से तोलना
आखिरकार ज़िन्दगी को अपनी शर्तों पे जीना
ये सब इतना आसान नही होता अगर तू मेरे पास नही होती
तूने मेरी ज़िन्दगी को आसान ही नही बनाया है
बल्कि मेरे जीवन में जोश का जज्बा भी जगाया है
शायद मैं संवेदनाहीन होती अगर मुझे तेरा साथ नही होता मिला
तू मेरी भाषा ही नही मेरी आत्मा है मेरा विश्वास मेरा हौंसला
पूरी की तूने जीवन की कमियाँ
तू है मेरी मां
"इसलिए मैं तेरा शुक्रिया करती हूँ और इस अवसर पर मैं तुझे शत शत प्रणाम करती हूँ इस हिन्दी ने हमें सब कुछ दिया पर हम आज उसे ही भूलते जा रहे हैं क्या ये आज की ज़रूरत नहीं एक तरफ़ हम जहाँ अपनी सभ्यता और परम्परा को बचने की बात करते है वही प्रतिस्पर्धा के नाम पे अपनी मात्रभाषा को भूलते जा रहे हैं चलो आज अपनी आवाजों को एक कर कर अपनी भाषा का वैसा ही ख्याल रखने का प्राण करे जैसे हम अपने मां बाप का रखते हैं "
Why in the picturesque Los Angeles, I miss my land?

The beautiful city of California, Los Angeles, has everything that can make you forget the world. It has all the elements of an A-class city and picturesque landscapes which brings all the Hollywood memories to life.

Not to mention the pleasant wind, soaking sunshine, warm beaches and several happy faces which make me wonder about the concept of heaven and earth.

Here I should also not fail to point out the many facilities one avail in the hearty land of US. You talk about bus connectivity or helping people; education and medical benefits or less corruption; brimming Universal Studios and city walk or Hollywood stars luxury apartments; the life in the always alive LA is not only spectacular but perfect.

Yet it is home calling for me after all home is where your heart is and my heart belongs to India. The Incredible India where I was born and lived 30 years of my life. LA is amazing yet it will never be able to surpass the nitty-gritty aspects of India. The peaceful Hollywood city undermines the chaotic concept of India yet fails on marginal lines for someone, who loves to shop from flea markets instead of blindly following mall culture, who prefers roadside ‘chaishops’ over Starbucks and Café Coffee Days.

LA has a life but India has a way of life. We Indians are still in the process of exploring desi food vs junk food, work pressure or family pressure, flea bargaining vs mall shopping. Anyways the idea here is that we are still somewhere in between proportionating the concepts which are good or bad for our family and in turn society. We want to be free yet are bounded by cultures and traditions giving a new perspective to the idea of life. We are not blindly following society but believe in reasoning and apply logic. The new generation of India is definitely positive towards its outlook and approach towards leaders, rituals, common practices and that is what I miss the most in Los Angeles.

It looks like that time has stopped here; people are courteous but are far away from discussions. They will give you a helping hand and smile but beyond that would never involve in interactions as if they are scared to know you in person. The Indian community here is trying to keep the ideals alive but I somehow doubt that when I see their next generation talking in heavy audible accents priding themselves as Huh…We..Americans.

Earning dollars is certainly an interesting pattern for most Indians turned NRIs and even I would not mind earning some in a foreign land but if somebody asks me what next or where would you see yourself after 5 years- my answer would be not in the picturesque land of Los Angeles, but in My India.

Wo jo har duniya ka dum bharte hain, Kehte hai chalo ab ghar chalet hain…… (The one, who speaks about conquering so many worlds, finally realizes the wish to go home….)


Miss You Home!
Why I hate going to temples?

It would sound as a cliché and anti-god saga to many but is true and follows my own logic and reasoning. My idea of hating visiting religious places might sound absurd to many, however stands bygone to me unfortunately.

I have nothing against God or against its people and followers but only to think of the several trips once inside the premises make me sick and wretched.

“Have a dupatta on your head for God sake, take of your sandals, wear decent clothes, don’t go inside if you are down (periods),” are the common statements heard and anyways I have nothing against any religion.

When we visit somebody’s house, we still follow some norms and these come to me plain and simple. But what follows next inside is ridiculous and disgusting.

Being a Hindu I have often visited temples, but that doesn’t mean that I have not been to other religions ‘House of God’.

The performa is almost same everywhere. Being a girl you are not allowed to even visit certain chambers (when God did no differentiation while creating me, why should any human being must?)

Then if you are on your periods you are an outcast. Mind me, these religious bodyguards must go and visit VaishnoDevi toilets for Godsake, you will be stuck in your shoes with the number of sanitary pads found in dustbin on any average day.

Then the audacities of offerings really sicken me. How can one justify offering milk, sweets, flowers and money to the stones in temples; the same is almost everywhere else.

What shocks me is the attitude of Pandits and other religious sacrosancts. Trust me I know some pandits who preach but are non-veg by food habits and involve in alcoholism during the feasty nights. Not to mention the money they take for wedding and other religious processions. No wonder we get buried in homeloans to build our houses but these pandits already own some lands and are prospering like anything.

Curse our jobs and minimum salaries! I am not targeting here any particular religion, community or caste. I have prayed like many others, kept fasts and done several offerings in past but what irks me is the religious business some priests run nowadays.

Many would agree with me that the House of worship have turned into commercialized centres beaming with idol shops and chadar offerings.

When in a temple you can’t even touch god, segregated due to VIP guidelines and are often misguided by the religious thakedaars- one must certainly ask a question? Why should we bend to the rules made by some profit making people who call themselves the patent holders of GOD (as said in OMG movie)?


I pray to God and try to connect with the supreme daily but not on somebody else’s condition but mine…

Thursday, September 10, 2015

a new beginning


And, I return to the platform I left nearly 6 years ago.....mixed feelings, friends are left behind, riding new waves, have taken new journeys, hope will live up to my expectations again.


A different world, unexplored paths and embellished dreams. Time to discover me again. Discovering-devika again.......

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Prem`s gazab kahani- A must watch!

After so many days of the hectic schedule (from office to home n vice-versa), i was rather irritated to have an idle week-off. So instead of just passing my time i decided to go for a movie with my friends.

After much discussion we opted for the Kapoor kid- Ranbir`s latest `Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani`. His new movie had a name similar to a comic edition so it did caught our attention. However the lead pair also included Katrina Kaif who is somehow not my favourite but as i didn`t have any choice so i looked forward to have some enjoyment with my friends. As we opted for the last show at 10:45pm so after taking a heavy dinner we strolled out.

Talking about the movie i would suggest that it is a total bang and is really worth watching. Ranbir is at his best after `Wake up Sid` while Katrina is OK. You can find some similarity in some portions with the blockbuster Andaz Apna Apna of 80`s. Although the story is plain but the comedy sequences hold the audience till the very end. Coming to lyrics Pritam and Irshad Kamil have a unique chemistry which make the audience hum with the beautiful compositions.

Directed bty Rajkumar Santoshy the story revolves around a small-town with a distinct Ooty feel where Prem, a ninth-standard drop-out runs a local Happy Club. Now the story follows with the entry of the neighbourhood girl Jenny, a pretty young Christian girl who lives with her adoptive parents. they team-up and become good friends but lately he realises that he is falling for the girl, but can't muster up the courage to tell her. When Jenny's parents force her to marry an obnoxious rich boy, Prem volunteers to help. Turns out Jenny's got a boyfriend she loves, and now Prem must unite them.

So finally with all the twist and turns the movie finds a happy end giving the audience full time-pass. Ranbir Kapoor, is the brightest spot, rising above the script's many holes, occasionally even making the stupidity work. So I would suggest, go for the movie for Ranbir Kapoor whose performance alone justifies the price of the ticket.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Rediscovering the phantoms of 1984

I can see in your eyes, I can see in your faces, I can see you cry. But what I want to say, there’s no reason to cry. Do not, in the name of peace, go in the streets and riot.”- George Weah


Although I was born in 1985, tales of the 1984 riots have always haunted me. Hailing from Kanpur, which was the second worst riot-affected region after Delhi, discussions about how the Sikhs were tormented always petrified me. My father used to tell me about those painful days and horrible nights whose remembrance still brings tears in his eyes.

Imagining as to what would have happened 25 years ago is nearly impossible for me. Therefore on the 25th anniversary of Indira Gandhi’s death and the subsequent anti-Sikh riots, I decided to meet some of those who witnessed the uproar, grief, death, suffering and bloodshed. Alok Tomar, who was a reporter in Jansatta at that time, Arati Jerath, the reporter of Indian Express, and Deepak Duggal & Jasbir, businessmen who were targets of the carnage, shared their memories with me.

Alok Tomar (Editor, Datelineindia.com)

Nobody could have imagined the wrath and anger that October 31 brought with it. Alok Tomar was going to watch a movie in now defunct Chanakya theatre when, as a routine habit of a crime reporter, he called the police control room and was informed that PM Indira Gandhi had been shot dead by her Sikh guards at PM’s official residence at Safdarjang. He could not digest the idea of her being hit by 38 bullets.

He hired a taxi to AIIMS hospital and managed to see Mrs Gandhi at the 7th floor, lying lifeless. Many of the cabinet members were waiting in the conference hall of AIIMS. Rajiv Gandhi flew back from Orissa. Some of the prominent ministers urged him to take oath immediately but he insisted that his first priority was his mother who was dead. Alok then called Prabhash Joshi, his editor, and dictated to the desk the whole scenario over phone

He even witnessed the first death in the riots at around 4 pm on October 31 when, near the INA market, a sardar was brutally battered with bricks. Later in the day, he filed his story. He recalled the first lines of his report that said- “Aaj do hathyaen hui hai- ek Indira ki aur doosri manushya ke manushya par vishwas ki” (Today, two deaths have occurred- one of Indira and the other of trust in humans)

By November 1, the situation had worsened. While walking to his office, he was amazed to find all the police posts closed and locked. Trilokpuri, especially block 32, was badly hit. The second death occurred at 10:20 am when an elderly sardar was thrashed and killed using a burning tyre that was thrust around his neck. When he questioned Nikhil Kumar (the then additional commissioner of Delhi Police and now Governor of Nagaland), he answered that Hindus are just burning garbage and how could police stop the madding crowd?

Rahul Bedi of the Indian Express went with him to Home Minsiter Narsimha Rao’s place and both, tired and agitated, blamed him for the situation. Rao, however, replied that the Army had been called in. Mundka, Nandgoi, Shahdara and Trans-Yamuna areas were wrecked. Kakanagar, Sarojini Nagar, Palam were the other residential areas that were scarred. More than 300-400 bodies were seen by Rahul and Alok. The toll had passed 3000 in a span of 4 days. Because Indian Express group was pro-victims, Hindu mobs thrashed several of its employees, including Alok.

Later, several committees were set up where he recorded his statements; but all the enquiries were in vain. He also attended the cremation of Indira Gandhi where Rajiv Gandhi’s stoic and numb presence was really unbearable. Amitabh Bachchan, who had cordial relations with the Gandhi family then, was also present there.

Recalling the horror of those sleepless nights, he said that he and his team hoped against hope that what they had been doing would prevent a rise in casualties but unfortunately it was not enough. To quote Rao, “it was madness” but Alok saw a well-defined method in it. A bloody method!

Arati R Jerath (Senior Editor& Chief of Delhi Bureau, DNA)

Recounting her horror, Arati Jerath remembered that it was a chilly winter morning on October 31 when she was spending some quality time with her elder daughter, who was then an infant. Suddenly, she got a call at quarter to 10 that Indira Gandhi was shot dead at 9:20 am and that she was required at office.

Those days security was not much of a fuss and she therefore walked into the PM house easily later in the evening and surveyed the blood-splattered area for her story. The retaliation against Sikhs had still not become widespread but one gurudwara in Satya Chauraha Clave had been burnt down and it ran as the first flash in her newspaper. It was also rumoured that sweets were distributed in some of the gurduwaras celebrating the death of Indira. However, the scenario was like a still before a storm.

Next day, many parts of Delhi were hit by mob violence. Police were, needless to say, unable to control the situation. All those shops and colonies were targeted which belonged to Sikhs. As she used to stay at Amrita Shergill Marg, she had to walk most of the distance to her office. Nearby, the taxi-stand’s taxis were burnt. The drivers fled from the scene as they were all Sikhs. When they returned, they were all clean-shaven and their turbans were gone.

Like others, her family was also scared. Both she and her husband were reporters. Those three days were the most awful days of her life. Her parents came over from defence colony, which was also riot-hit. The violence had gripped the heart of the city and the Sikh domestic areas were prime targets. Be it Khan Market or Safdarganj, extremist Hindus lead by some local political leaders rampaged & vandalised the houses of Sikhs with impunity.

One of her friends in Vasant Vihar was also surrounded. In order to protect his family, he went out on the balcony and lit a cigarette which is prohibited in Sikh faith- to show that he was not of the community. After the riots ended, he started visiting gurudwaras regularly in order to rediscover himself.

Mrs Jerath could not go for reporting as Indian Express had barred girls from going out. But her other colleagues like Rahul Bedi and Joseph daringly covered the whole scenario, even protected some Sikhs from the blood-thirsty crowd. The most amazing part, according to her, was that the whole situation calmed down the day when Indira Gandhi’s body was cremated. This showed that there was some planned motive behind these riots.

The fifth day from Indira’s death, when she went to Tilak Nagar, the scene shocked her beyond words- pieces of burnt hair, clothes and turbans shook her soul. It was grotesque with women wailing for their husbands. Only some old men and children were left out of the ordeal- only to be victimised by circumstances forever.

Deepak Duggal & Jasbir (Businessmen in Kanpur)

Deepak Duggal recollected the memories of the horrendous behaviour of crazed mobs towards Sikhs. As William Penn puts it, “Passion is the mob of the man that commits a riot upon his reason”. Duggal’s experience confirmed the same.

By the night of October 31, it was clear that Indira Gandhi was dead. The incidents which took place on November 1 shook the whole of Kanpur. He elaborated, stating that at 7 am, the lower caste groups from Jajmau and other areas of the city started vandalising shops and ransacking the houses Sikhs in Lal Bunglow and Govindpur areas.

Friends turned foes. Women were raped and molested, not even kids and elders were spared. Police kept mum and the local Congress leaders added fuel to fire. Sikhs were singled-out and burnt alive. “We fired gun-shots and opposed the mob, which was trying to enter our house. Our trucks were burnt but thank God we were saved but the conditions were horrendous”, added Duggal’s friend, Jasbir.

After 3 days on November 4, curfew was imposed and continued for another week; but many lives were lost already. Politics had played its game, what was left was pain.

Follow the link to read the actual story: http://www.zeenews.com/news576514.html