Being perfect, not anymore……

Many asked me why the sabbatical from work and family in India? I replied: “Taki Apne hone par mujhko yaqeen aa jaye. (A dialogue from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)”

To tell a little about myself-I am a 30-year-old super active, hyper female who had a busy work schedule, brimming personal life with in-laws and a 4-year-old kid always around. Friends and colleagues who I looked forward to every Saturday night; a movie outing every Sunday night; a visit to any Hilly state every 3 months- with so much energy, so much chaos going around I was still not peaceful. My heart was always impounding asking for more and more. Ambitions turned into a bitch urging me to push harder for an art called perfection, hunted by society always.

Being a woman I have to be a perfect example of daughter, wife, daughter-in-law (DIL), mother and businesswoman. Perfect? I would better call her a juggler, always balancing the act of life.

And, here I would not like to bring in the curious case of males as subject for they too manage every nitty-gritty detail in their lives. My concentration is more on perfection- a concept which has made people obsessed with their work, families, bodies, even their smile. Today, no selfie can pass the beauty standards without that perfect pout….cummon why is everybody missing that natural smile- perfect or not!

Have we forgotten that beauty lies in the eyes of beholder and that judgment differs from man to man? Why to run after the ecstatic ‘perfection’, which actually does not exist in the real world. Nobody is perfect yet we strive for it, create limitations to get the perfect result. Life in itself is not perfect, little imperfections solicitate beauty today.

Why run after mediums that falsely promise to make your life angelic. Where sadness is acceptable not poverty; where pictures are important than making memories. Where social media timelines decide who is running a perfect life. We have forgotten to breathe in order to create that perfect home, perfect car, perfect partner and so much more.

We are not happy despite our well-paying jobs and happening social lives. Our comforting worlds are miserable and short-lived. We miss the moral our parents taught-to stay content but we march with full zeal towards the perfect lives which is just another mirage. We are simply worried and anxious to death.

How beautiful life would become if for once we forget that pending assignment, not make mental notes of home savings or groceries list, forget about showoff and concentrate on spending time with family. Just exist in the moment completely. For once we stop controlling our lives instead let life guide us to new paths and journeys where we explore more about ourselves not for perfection but with imperfection.

After all: Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho, Toh zinda ho tum!

Isn't it?

हिन्दी तुम मेरी साथी हो !

सुबह की सुर्ख लाली और शाम का चमकता सितारा
खुशियों का मौसम और बागों का महकता ठिकाना
दोस्त की वो मीठी बात और हँसते हुए वो कॉलेज ना जाने का बहाना
कभी किसी पे हसना कभी ख़ुद मजाक का हिस्सा बनना
वो होठों की हँसी और शोर शराबे में क्लास में न पढ़ना
मौजों की लहर मतवाली
चाय की दुकान पर वो मीठी प्याली
कभी गलती पर डांट पड़ना कभी मुस्कुरा के सारी बातें अनसुना करना
सत्र ख़तम होते होते वो भविष्य के इरादे
वो साथ रहने के वायदे
वो हम-तुम करने की शरारत हर बात पे खीजना हर बात पे झल्लाना
पर फिर मुस्कुरा के दोस्ती की कसमें खाना
हर कसम पे नसीहत हर नसीहत पे गुस्सा
हर गुस्से पे मुस्कराहट हर मुस्कराहट का किस्सा
वो सारा आलम
आज भी मेरी यादों का हिस्सा
हर खुशी आपस में बांटना हर दुःख में किसी का साथी होना
हर पल को खुशियों से तोलना
आखिरकार ज़िन्दगी को अपनी शर्तों पे जीना
ये सब इतना आसान नही होता अगर तू मेरे पास नही होती
तूने मेरी ज़िन्दगी को आसान ही नही बनाया है
बल्कि मेरे जीवन में जोश का जज्बा भी जगाया है
शायद मैं संवेदनाहीन होती अगर मुझे तेरा साथ नही होता मिला
तू मेरी भाषा ही नही मेरी आत्मा है मेरा विश्वास मेरा हौंसला
पूरी की तूने जीवन की कमियाँ
तू है मेरी मां
"इसलिए मैं तेरा शुक्रिया करती हूँ और इस अवसर पर मैं तुझे शत शत प्रणाम करती हूँ इस हिन्दी ने हमें सब कुछ दिया पर हम आज उसे ही भूलते जा रहे हैं क्या ये आज की ज़रूरत नहीं एक तरफ़ हम जहाँ अपनी सभ्यता और परम्परा को बचने की बात करते है वही प्रतिस्पर्धा के नाम पे अपनी मात्रभाषा को भूलते जा रहे हैं चलो आज अपनी आवाजों को एक कर कर अपनी भाषा का वैसा ही ख्याल रखने का प्राण करे जैसे हम अपने मां बाप का रखते हैं "

Why in the picturesque Los Angeles, I miss my land?

The beautiful city of California, Los Angeles, has everything that can make you forget the world. It has all the elements of an A-class city and picturesque landscapes which brings all the Hollywood memories to life.

Not to mention the pleasant wind, soaking sunshine, warm beaches and several happy faces which make me wonder about the concept of heaven and earth.

Here I should also not fail to point out the many facilities one avail in the hearty land of US. You talk about bus connectivity or helping people; education and medical benefits or less corruption; brimming Universal Studios and city walk or Hollywood stars luxury apartments; the life in the always alive LA is not only spectacular but perfect.

Yet it is home calling for me after all home is where your heart is and my heart belongs to India. The Incredible India where I was born and lived 30 years of my life. LA is amazing yet it will never be able to surpass the nitty-gritty aspects of India. The peaceful Hollywood city undermines the chaotic concept of India yet fails on marginal lines for someone, who loves to shop from flea markets instead of blindly following mall culture, who prefers roadside ‘chaishops’ over Starbucks and Café Coffee Days.

LA has a life but India has a way of life. We Indians are still in the process of exploring desi food vs junk food, work pressure or family pressure, flea bargaining vs mall shopping. Anyways the idea here is that we are still somewhere in between proportionating the concepts which are good or bad for our family and in turn society. We want to be free yet are bounded by cultures and traditions giving a new perspective to the idea of life. We are not blindly following society but believe in reasoning and apply logic. The new generation of India is definitely positive towards its outlook and approach towards leaders, rituals, common practices and that is what I miss the most in Los Angeles.

It looks like that time has stopped here; people are courteous but are far away from discussions. They will give you a helping hand and smile but beyond that would never involve in interactions as if they are scared to know you in person. The Indian community here is trying to keep the ideals alive but I somehow doubt that when I see their next generation talking in heavy audible accents priding themselves as Huh…We..Americans.

Earning dollars is certainly an interesting pattern for most Indians turned NRIs and even I would not mind earning some in a foreign land but if somebody asks me what next or where would you see yourself after 5 years- my answer would be not in the picturesque land of Los Angeles, but in My India.

Wo jo har duniya ka dum bharte hain, Kehte hai chalo ab ghar chalet hain…… (The one, who speaks about conquering so many worlds, finally realizes the wish to go home….)

Miss You Home!

Why I hate going to temples?

It would sound as a cliché and anti-god saga to many but is true and follows my own logic and reasoning. My idea of hating visiting religious places might sound absurd to many, however stands bygone to me unfortunately.

I have nothing against God or against its people and followers but only to think of the several trips once inside the premises make me sick and wretched.

“Have a dupatta on your head for God sake, take of your sandals, wear decent clothes, don’t go inside if you are down (periods),” are the common statements heard and anyways I have nothing against any religion.

When we visit somebody’s house, we still follow some norms and these come to me plain and simple. But what follows next inside is ridiculous and disgusting.

Being a Hindu I have often visited temples, but that doesn’t mean that I have not been to other religions ‘House of God’.

The performa is almost same everywhere. Being a girl you are not allowed to even visit certain chambers (when God did no differentiation while creating me, why should any human being must?)

Then if you are on your periods you are an outcast. Mind me, these religious bodyguards must go and visit VaishnoDevi toilets for Godsake, you will be stuck in your shoes with the number of sanitary pads found in dustbin on any average day.

Then the audacities of offerings really sicken me. How can one justify offering milk, sweets, flowers and money to the stones in temples; the same is almost everywhere else.

What shocks me is the attitude of Pandits and other religious sacrosancts. Trust me I know some pandits who preach but are non-veg by food habits and involve in alcoholism during the feasty nights. Not to mention the money they take for wedding and other religious processions. No wonder we get buried in homeloans to build our houses but these pandits already own some lands and are prospering like anything.

Curse our jobs and minimum salaries! I am not targeting here any particular religion, community or caste. I have prayed like many others, kept fasts and done several offerings in past but what irks me is the religious business some priests run nowadays.

Many would agree with me that the House of worship have turned into commercialized centres beaming with idol shops and chadar offerings.

When in a temple you can’t even touch god, segregated due to VIP guidelines and are often misguided by the religious thakedaars- one must certainly ask a question? Why should we bend to the rules made by some profit making people who call themselves the patent holders of GOD (as said in OMG movie)?

I pray to God and try to connect with the supreme daily but not on somebody else’s condition but mine…